"Life is what happens to you while you're busy….

…making other plans."

It's not often that I look to John Lennon for input on my life philosophy, but this is one case where his words ring oh-so-true. The family wedding was over, and it was gorgeous! My 15 year old headed into his final exams to finish out his (thankfully) successful transition as a freshman in high school. Memorial Day and the loooonnnng weekend were headed my way with a wide-open calendar, when WHAM! The phone rang at midnight. Never a good thing.

My sweet mother-in-law had been rushed to the hospital, very ill but nobody was quite sure exactly with what. My heart started pounding, and the anxiety built. Too soon. It was much too soon after my own father had died to even begin thinking about losing another one so loved.

Fast forward to Memorial Day. She is home and doing well. The miracles of modern medicine have done their work once again, and she is recovering in her own home. My heartbeat's slowed to normal, and all is safe. But what has this taught me? What's MY lesson to be learned?

To borrow from another kitchen table philosopher, my good friend Anne, 'as soon as you think you've got it all together, you don't!' Amen, sister. I've finally had to face the fact that there is no perfect point - no matter how hard I search and try to make it real - when everything is on even keel, taken care of, safely stable, all at the same time. It just doesn't happen. As uncomfortable as it makes me, change IS life. Change … change for the better, for the worse… richer, poorer… sickness and health. You got it.

So what's my new mantra? "I am ready for everything." While I don't (as my mom used to say) 'borrow trouble', I am coming to accept that the only constant IS change, and that keeping my own center in the midst of life's ups and downs is the ONLY thing I really have any control over.

Maybe you've already realized this, and you're better at it than I am. What lessons have you learned about life happening that you can share with us? Does it blindside you when something happens out of the blue? Or have you learned how to accept it as just one more way that life happens.

Let us know? And let's learn from each other.

Weaving the web - friendship, support and sisterhood

Wikipedia says that: "Spider silk is a remarkably strong material. Its tensile strength is comparable to that of high-grade steel." Well, I'm here to tell you that spiders have nothing on a group of women gathered together! Especially around a common purpose.

This week a dear friend underwent surgery for breast cancer. From the first moment the news went around, her network of friends started spinning a stronger-than-steel web of support for her. Prayers, meals, carpools, house cleaning. The Care Calendar is up (and if you don't know about this amazing tool, check it out!) and the slots are filled. Old friends, new friends, work friends, school friends. Whatever she needs, for however long it takes. We will be there for her.

Tonight, I saw a new web being spun into existence. Another group of women. This time, from around the country, many meeting each other for the very first time. But in just minutes, bonds were being formed. Common ground identified. Needs expressed. Offers of help. Support. Sisterhood. I know from experience that although this is a brand new web, it will be just as strong - over distance and time - as the one holding my friend and her family post-surgery.

This is what we women do. What women have always done. And what every multi-tasking woman knows deep in her soul. No matter how hectic our lives, no matter our previous commitments, we are never too busy to care. To share. And to keep weaving the webs that make life worthwhile.

Making room… making space

"Mom, we need to give these away," my 15 year old said, as he held out a 2 ft. high stack of nearly new hoodies and sweatshirts. "What!?!" my we-just-bought-those-last-fall voice cried out.

"Well, you're always telling me I need to go through my stuff and weed out what I don't need," he came back. (Don't you hate it when your words come right back at you?) "And I don't have room for all these. How many hoodies does one guy need anyway?"

Out of the mouths of babes. Wisdom from my teenager. "I don't have room for stuff I don't need, and I only need so much."

WOW! Let me sit with that a minute. Really soak it in. I only need so much, and why take up space with stuff I don't need? Duplicates. Triplicates. Might-fit-into-it-one-days. Who knows when I might NEED THIS (insert word here, which could range from those too-tight sparkly evening shoes to that only used it once specialty cake pan to a not really antique but really old anything.)

It's said that one (wo)man's trash is another's treasure. Well, I've been given the map by my own progeny. Guess I'll just have to start out on the journey. You know. The one where I sake my self if I REALLY need or REALLY want something, or if its' just taking up all too valuable real estate in my house, and in my life, which could be open and waiting. Space to breathe. Space to move. Space. Just pure, plain open space. Why not today? What am I waiting for. I have the map and X marks the spot! Join me?

Do you hang onto things just because you 'may need them?' What kinds of things do you keep? Could letting them go help make space in your life? Let me know how you make room in your life this week...

Wedding Watch why? ... Part two

Well, the wedding may be over but I find myself still fascinated and watching the coverage whenever it comes on TV. The gorgeous images are in sharp contrast to the devastation that is also being pictured, where people have lost everything.

My first reaction is 'how can I feel so happy about this event across the sea, when there is so much horrific news right in my own backyard?' But the more I contemplate it, the more I realize that recognizing BOTH events are important, critical even, to really living all of life. Acknowledging that good and bad, new life and destruction, happiness and sadness in all their extremes, always co-exist. Always have and always will.

This weekend, I've had the chance to celebrate a dear friend's 45th birthday, ushering in what will undoubtedly be another full year of life. At the very same time, she is dealing with her mother's diagnosis of a malignant tumor. Today, another group of friends gathered to shower one of our own who's embarking on first time motherhood at the age of 45. She's 'big' and uncomfortable and hot and all the things that go along with the 3rd trimester, but the joy of new life she's nurturing inside will, as we all know, be well worth the pain and suffering right now.

It's Both/And. Never either/or. Life is happening every minute of every day, in its full array of pleasure and pain. We can't limit ourselves only to the happy and enjoyable, even if we sometimes wish we could. But, to borrow from our good friend O, there's one thing I do know for sure: Multi-tasking women are never too busy to celebrate AND to care.


If you can help, please make a donation today to the Red Cross, Salvation Army or charity of your choice. Even William and Kate have passed on receiving gifts and asked anyone who wishes to make a donation to one of the charities they feel are important.