When life shoots you a bird… cook it!

Okay, we arrived safely over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house. We had our traditional Thanksgiving Eve fried shrimp dinner (hey, different is good!) And I was armed and ready with sharpened knives and fresh poultry seasonings, crispy celery and pungent onion.

You see, with the passage of the years, it's become my pleasure - and honor - to be trusted with the making of the dressing and the dressing of the bird. Or in our family's case since we're all white-meat-only fans, the biggest turkey breast Grandad can lay his hands on.

Imagine my surprise as I unwrapped the ten-pound-plus package to find wings and legs emerging! What kind of mutant turkey breast was this? What had the butcher pawned off on my dear unsuspecting grocery-shopping father-in-law? A closer look at the package, as I'm sure you've now suspicioned, revealed that I was NOT in possession of the world's largest (10.6 lb) turkey breast, but a whole young Butterball gobbler! In went my rubber gloved hands to retrieve the neck - ewwww - giblets and all those other unmentionables. And out went the call to locate the big but little-used roasting pan from its cupboard.

The bottom line? It turned out to be a stellar bird in every way. Golden brown skin. Moist, tender meat. And the two turkey legs? Imagine my surprise to discover that Uncle D had long dreamt of juicy dark meat as a holiday treat to his otherwise heart-healthy diet. And our Russian guest relished the other drumstick just as much.

So what wisdom, you might ask, did I glean from this? Well, for a start, life happens. And, as we all know, it doesn't always go exactly the way we've planned. The perfect turkey breast we have our heart set on, arrives with legs, neck, gizzard and all, The more I think about it, the unexpected arrival of the full bird seems particularly appropriate this year, because for most of us, it's been a white meat - and a dark meat - kind of year. We didn't get to pick and choose only what we wanted to happen, but somehow we had the grace - and the guts - to deal with it all.

The whole enchilada? Forget it! I'll take the full bird treatment any time. Now, how about a turkey sandwich to go?